whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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