so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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