I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
