is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I need a burrito and a hug.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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