lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
