The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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