i can't believe i had my finger in that
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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