I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
