She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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