yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
