At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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