oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
