i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
