it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
