Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
