Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
