ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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