She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
