I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
