yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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