It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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