Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
