If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
