I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
