the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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