Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize