You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Ketchup is God's man juice
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
