And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
