so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i out mim tonsoeep
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