ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
