you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Enjoy the penises
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
