Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
