2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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