Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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