she was so not down for the gang bang
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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