so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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