That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
