you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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