i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
