Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize