i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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