I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
