i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
where does the pee come out of this thing
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
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