i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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