he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You are a genius and a whore.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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