Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
