I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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