i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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