dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
