Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
