just tell him i said nine months
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
