and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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