if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he thought i was a dude.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
