we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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