you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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